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ive just had a conversation that went almost exactly the way i imagined it going (because i'm constantly making up conversations with people that never happen). i dont know if that's happened before. it was me getting bitched out by a girl into whose room i poked my head earlier today to see if i could borrow a dustpan, but ended up briefly waking her up from her nap. i was fairly sure she'd think i just go in her room all the time when she's not there, and confront me about it later. i could rely on her misconstruing this by 1) her saying when she woke up that i coulndn't have even known she'd be in there, and 2) the fact that she's consistently a huge bitch to me. luckily, i made my stand exactly as planned.
if anyone's reading this, they're probably not caring, which makes me wonder, what the hell's the point in a blog? (at least for me) do i want people to read this? do i expect them to? why am i writing this now?
because i feel like writing. i guess i dont really care if people read this. scratch that, it's clearly giving me inhibition and censoring what i'm writing. which means, it's not a chance to freewrite in a completely cathartic way, which is the only reason i'd write anything even remotely journaly in the first place. (is it vain write a journal? to think that your life is worth chronicling? is a journal for yourself or for someone finding it long after you've gone? blah) so what am i doing? who cares.
i've had trouble working all day today. romantic inactivity leads to antsiness. i also crave procrastinatory social interaction. is this disjoint from or related to romantic pinings? ive learned from crosswords that jonesing means pining. madonna says: life is a mystery. (everyone must stand alone. i hear you call my name, and it feels like home)
in other news: dan weiner and i got 8th in the illinois limited states tournament, mostly on the back of one jedit ojanen of efrava (through 7 rounds we never saw our wild pair). too bad prizes were only to the top 4.
as relates to two paragraphs ago (as you can see (read: read), my mind keep returning to it (evidence of my antsiness)), i can feel where my social inhibitions might wane, were i to let them. instead, i'll play it by ear. i dont know quite what that means other than not doing anything and waiting for something to happen (which, in the realm in which i'm working, is probably the worst strategy ever). we'll see. or rather, i will. and probably not tell you about it. because this is my first blog post in a long time, and the sequence of my postings is not cauchy, nor are the posts (points) getting even slightly closer together).
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Thursday, February 8th, 2007
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Monday, December 25th, 2006
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Friday, December 1st, 2006
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from here on out, i'll abbreviate "Girl in my History of Western Civilization class" as "Girl"
Teacher: it doesn't look like it's going to be a foot [reference to 3 inches of snow outside] [brief discussion of weather forecasts] Girl: I hope it snows a foot! that would be so cool! Teacher: you're not from around here are you? Girl: no.. [sheepish] north carolina Peter: wait, really? i'm from north carolina! Girl: really? what part? Peter: Cary Girl: oh, i'm from durham Peter: I went to school there Girl: where? Peter: Science and math Girl: I live on Iradell street.
OMG world so small. lol plzkthx
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Friday, October 13th, 2006
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i just slept from 8 pm to 7 am. and all my body parts hurt from swimming and weight lifting therein. well, almost all of them. that's about all i have to say.
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Friday, September 22nd, 2006
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the campus: every building here is beautiful. I don't feel like i've been in an unimpressive place yet. there are parks all around. the city is awesome, especially going downtown. The weather is at a constant color-enhancing gray, it seems like. my room is really nice, although it's hard to get the furniture to fit in a lot of different configurations, and the outlet number can be a little limiting. I think i need extension cords / power strips. I also don't have any furniture i'm trying to make room for or anything like that so there's not much reason to try and find good ways to organize the furniture. Currently, when i sit at my desk i'm right next to a window with a pretty nice view of down to the midway and across to the campus.
the people: i really like everybody that i've met so far in my house. they're frisbee fanatics, and play games late at night down on the midway. i haven't really met the extremely nerdy people facebook professed, but the upperclassmen are moving in today, so hopefully that'll change. as for outside my house, i haven't met many. I hate mingling, so i'm going to wait on that for when classes start and i go places to study, etc.
the classes: I'm registered to begin on monday: readings in world lit western civ french 103 (equivalent of first year, third quarter french.) honors calc. - this course isn't really calculus again. It's an introduction to rigorous, proof-based math, and uses analysis to build up from the bare basics up to calculus. it's the course that the rest of the math sequence is based on, and it should be fun. i could have placed to start analysis (the full course, that will come after the one im in now (next year)) in the winter, but i didn't really feel like it, and wanted instead to completely refresh myself on math and sort of start over.
the schedule: my class schedule isn't that bad; or it wouldn't be, without swimming. my swimming schedule is: MW: 6-8am TTh: 630-830 am Sat: 7-930 am every week day: 315-6 pm if i can manage it, i'd like to squeeze work study in there tuesday and thursday mornings, and friday afternoons, maybe. It would a full goddamn schedule, but it would be rewarding. assuming i can get my work done and get enough sleep while doing it. i'll probably end up only doing work study one or two of those three periods, but i do need the money, and it's a good opportunity, especially if i get hired by the neighborhood schools program.
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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
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i got a phone number and it's 919.609.8737

i took a picture of it with my computer, which seems ironic to me.
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Monday, September 4th, 2006
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My Wheel of Time books need a new home- free to any loving parent. If you or anyone you know will love, cherish, and read them, let me know. Otherwise i might have to [stifle cry] sell them.
Sincerely, Matrim Cauthon, the coolest guy ever.
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it's probably time for another one of these.
First, let's talk about computers. I hate how good programs on the internet cost money. I realize that the developers are trying to get some recompense for the hard work they put into the application, but still, the point in the internet is open, free sharing. Or, more accurately, i feel entitled to software because i paid for the computer, now it should be able to do what i want it to do, damnit. it's like buying soup at a restaurant and it's cold and you have to rent the microwave for a minute to warm it up. or something. another dumb thing is how easy it is to waste a lot of time trying to figure out ways to save time when using a computer. alas. probably the top two sites on the internet, in no particular order: wikipedia youtube
Over the last week or so my music fancy took a dip for the calm. Especially the new age. Nick described it as something that makes you feel like you're walking through an enchanted forest. and that is a nice feeling to have. another way to attain this feeling to is go on a bike ride in the middle of the night. There are few cars, and it's incredibly quiet. The bike light illuminates a small bluish patch around you, and the rest is dark outlines against the moonlit sky. In the rich neighborhoods, there are no streetlights, and people's house lights spill into the street in a gentle yellow way. If you dont have a shirt on, the wind plays at your spine in an enjoyable way, filling the void left by your body. If the moon is out and surrounded by little clouds it makes you (me) feel like you're (i'm) in a movie or something equally not-real.
I've been watching youtube videos like a hound lately. yesterday it was hackysack and today it was soccer. it makes me want to be really really talented at something. it also makes me frustrated with my limited hacky sack abilities. damn.
in other news, ive been packing for college, and i have a list of things i need, and therefore all ill bring: clothes shoes (street shoes, running shoes, sandals, cleats) school supplies (some old binders and notebooks, backpack, briefcase) bike and other sports equipment (swimming stuff, frisbee) computer speaker system. toiletries and tools
im starting to think that i could subsist on the built in speakers on the laptop. im also wondering what to do about books. im leaning towards limiting the number of books to some small number and picking the ones i think i'd want to have. i think 5 could be a cool number. i think i'll also bring one or two magic decks because i read on facebook that people in my house like to play. and if i think it could be worth it i could bring back more from christmas vacation. if i cut out that speaker system, i could have a pretty small move in package. it would be pretty sweet. im also not going to bring all my clothes but a reasonable and manageable number. maybe 7 shorts, 7 pants, 14 shirts?
i had yet another swim team dream last night. i also rediscovered the www.trickstutorials.com videos on my computer this afternoon. It invigorates me about the gym component of intercollegiate swimming. I could get like those guys did. well, i wouldn't take it that far. but, you know. toned and shit.
i found the remnants of the time i tried to knit something. i think im going to try and finish it. and pick 5 books.
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Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
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i, peter smutko, being of unsound mind, hereby write this blog to remind me of things, knowing that my sight, hearing, and memory are slipping away like the grains of time through my prematurely aged teenage fingers.
a few important points: i just saw crash, and it's a really damn good movie. I'm going to watch it again tomorrow night. It's that kind of movie. Embarrassingly, right after i watched it, i got on facebook and wall-recommended it to mike fliss. turns out the mpcs showed it last year. damnit.
i spent the last two weekends at chapel hill. they were good. love me some nick cook. i explored a tunnel under the campus, in which i froliced in hardhat and sprayed fire extinguisher. good times were had by all parties. it should here be noted that if you're ever in an enclosed space, fire extinguishers are the perfect getaway. [scenario] Bad Man down the hallway: hey! you! stop right there! hero: hiyaaah! (spray fire extinguisher in a big circular cloud, then run away in the opposite direction, spraying the whole time. [/scenario] the pursuer will be unable to breathe in the ensuing cloud of smoke/fog, and your getaway will be complete.
two weeks of work left: YOU CAN DO IT, PETER!!
everything is illuminated: this book is pretty much just about sex. it's pretty awesome. love me some sex.
a note about rebates: DONT DO THEM. companies offer rebates because very few people actually follow up on them, due to the complicated rules. i lost my computer box, and cannot claim the money for my ipod nano, and because i stupidly got it engraved for free, i cannot return it. apple is not any different than any other company. do not forget this just because it's cool to hate windows. but yes, they do make better products. they're just still out to make a profit at your expense.
peter's word of the day: excruciating
these words have nothing to do with anything but the fact that i like them.
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Thursday, August 17th, 2006
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ok, so what if there was a virus that preyed on single-celled water-borne organisms and acted by making the organism produce virus proteins until it upset the osmotic balance to the point that the cell was flooded with water and burst, releasing all the new viruses into the water. I wonder if that's real, because i just thought of it.
i thought of it because im sick, with a viral infection, and it's messing with my sinuses in such a way that it makes me feel like im having a permanent headrush, but with none of the good feelings of a head-rush, and all of the bad. and you get head rushes because you're dehydrated. so i constantly feel dehydrated, even though i keep drinking water and feel sick of it. haha, sick. anyway, i was wondering to myself if the virus just wants me to drink, because it helps it in some way, and acts by making me feel dehydrated. because wouldnt that be a sick thing for a virus to do. haha, sick.
maybe ill go take a sudafed. except not a sudafed, because meth-heads killed that for me. (i rhymed).
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Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
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i still dont know how to make this look even slightly attractive, and ive already lost the will to do so. looks like this is what you'll get from me.
if only mine could look like thomas'. alas.
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Monday, August 14th, 2006
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